An Chart from
Barbara Harris Whitfield:

The lotus. The symbol of personal growth and enlightenment

Advancing From
Victim to Thriver

.
As We Progress in Recovery We Can Move From Victim to Thriver
-------progress------>>>
.

Victim	Survivor	Thriver
Doesn't deserve nice things or trying for the "good life."	Struggling for Reasons & Chance to Heal	Gratitude for everything in life
Low self-esteem/ shame/unworthy	Sees self as wounded & healing	Sees self as an overflowing miracle
Hypervigilant	Using tools to learn to relax	Gratitude for new life
Alone	Seeking help	Oneness
Feels Selfish	Deserves to seek help	Proud of healthy self-caring
Damaged	Naming what happened	Was wounded & now healing
Confusion and Numbness	Learning to grieve, grieving past ungreieved trauma	Grieving at current losses
Overwhelmed by the Past	Naming and grieving what happened	Living in the present
Hopeless	Hopeful	Faith in self & life
Uses Outer World to Hide from Self	Stays with emotional pain	Understands that emotional pain will pass & brings new insights
Hides their story	Not afraid to tell their story to safe people	Beyone telling their story, but always aware they have created their own healing with Higher Power
Believes everyone else is better, stronger, less damaged	Comes out of hiding to hear others & have compassion for them and Eventually self	Lives with an open heart for self & others
Often Wounded by Unsafe Others	Learning how to protect self by share-check-share	Protects self from unsafe others
Places Own Needs Last	Learning healthy needs (See Healing the Child Within & Gift to Myself)	Places self first realizing thatis the only way to function & eventually help others
Creates One Drama After Another	See patterns	Creates peace
Believes Suffering is the Human Condition	Feeling some relief, knows they need to continue in recovery	Finds joy in peace
Serious All the Time	Beginning to laugh	Seeing humor in life
Uses Inappropriate Humor, Including Teasing	Feels associated painful feelings instead	Uses healthy humor
Uncomfortable, Numb, or Angry Around Toxic People	Increased awareness of pain and dynamics	Healthy boundaries around toxic people including relatives
Lives in the Past	Aware of patterns	Lives in the Now
Angry At Religion	Understanding the difference between religion & personal spirituality	Enjoys personal relationship with the God of their understanding
Suspicious of Therapists' projections	Sees therapist as guide during projections	Sees reality as their projection & owns it
Needs People & Chemicles to Believe They are All Right	Glimpses of self-assurance & fun without others	Feels authentic & connected, Whole
"Depression"	Movement of feelings	Aliveness

About Barbara Harris Whitfield

Barbara H. Whitfield, R.T., C.M.T., is the author of many published articles and five books:

Full Circle: The Near-Death Experience and Beyond

(Pocket Books, Simon and Schuster New York, 1990);

Spiritual Awakenings: Insights of the Near-Death Experience and Other Doorways to Our Soul

(Health Communications, Inc. Deerfield Beach, FL 1995),

Final Passage: Sharing the Journey as This Life Ends

(Health Communications, Inc. Deerfield Beach, FL 1998), co-author with Charles Whitfield and Jyoti and
Russell Park of

The Power of Humility: Choosing Peace over Conflict in Relationships

(Health Communications, Inc. Deerfield Beach, FL 2006) and,

The Natural Soul

(SterlingHouse Books, Pittsburgh, PA 2009).

Barbara is a thanatologist. (thanatology is the study of death and dying.) She is also a workshop presenter, Near-Death Experiencer and respiratory and massage therapist. She was on the faculty of

Rutgers University's Institute for Alcohol and Drug Studies

for 12 years. Barbara was research assistant to psychiatry professor Bruce Greyson, the director of research for the

International Association for Near-Death Studies

(I.A.N.D.S.) at the University of Connecticut Medical School, studying the Spiritual, psychological, physical and energetic after-effects of the Near-Death Experience.

She is past president and a member of the board of the Kundalini Research Network and has sat on the executive board of the I.A.N.D.S. She is a consulting editor and contributor for the

Journal of Near-Death Studies

. She is on the faculty of The Center for Sacred Studies where she teaches a course with Charles Whitfield called Unity in Practice. Barbara was a key subject in Kenneth Ring's groundbreaking book on the Near-Death Experience, Heading Toward Omega. He writes about her again in his latest book Lessons From the Light.

Barbara has been a guest on major television talk shows, including

Larry King Live

, The Today Show, Man Alive,

Donahue

, Unsolved Mysteries, PM Magazine, Good Morning America, Oprah,

Joan Rivers

, Sonya Freeman, and CNN Medical News. Her story and her research have appeared in documentaries in the US, Canada, Japan, France, Belgium and Italy and in magazines such as Redbook, McCalls, Woman's World, McClean's, Utne Reader, Common Boundary, Psychology Today and many others. She presented talks on the Near-Death Experience to a group in the Capital in Washington, D.C. and also the United Nations in New York.

Barbara lives in Atlanta, Georgia with her husband, author and physician

Charles Whitfield, MD

. They share a private practice, helping adults that were repeatedly abused and traumatized as children.

Visit my website at www.barbarawhitfield.com

Click here to print
this page

Return Home

.
Last Modified: 01/20/2009