An article from

Barbara Harris Whitfield:
The lotus. The symbol of personal growth and enlightenment
Empathy and Emotional Health in Children
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Feelings, Affect and Emotions

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Empathy can be described as 'feeling through our skin' what the other is feeling. Recently empathy has been described as the deciding variable in whether a child is abused by a parent or not. No matter how much stress there is in a relationship between parent and child-- if the parent feels empathy for that child they will not seriously abuse them.

Every parent looses their control sometimes. But it is their level of empathy that will stop dangerous behavior. When a parent tells us, "I love my child." We can ask, "Tell me what that means." And then look for empathy in their answer.

Our children learns empathy from us. And it is not easy but we need to model this for our children:
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Seven Traits to Teach Empathy

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Traits
Parent modeling and mirroring child (birth to 5)
1. Confidence
Mastery and control over something
2. Curiosity
Tied to above. Trying something different
3. Intentionally
My life can have an impact. Feeling significant
4. Relatedness
I can engage you and be understood
(not necessarily agreeing but understanding).
5. Self -control
An inner voice that says, "Don't do that."
Has to be developed. Child learns empathy for self saying, "What will happen to me?" .
6. Capacity to
communicate
Capacity to share ideas and feelings-- not just facts.
7. Cooperativeness
Balancing needs with the needs of others
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"A child's openness to being disciplined is in direct proportion to the amount of physical affection he/she receives."
Compiled from Naomi Griffith 2000


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    About Barbara Harris Whitfield
    Barbara H. Whitfield, R.T., C.M.T., is the author of many published articles and five books:
    She is past president and a member of the board of the Kundalini Research Network and has sat on the executive board of the I.A.N.D.S. She is a consulting editor and contributor for the Journal of Near-Death Studies. She is on the faculty of The Center for Sacred Studies where she teaches a course with Charles Whitfield called Unity in Practice. Barbara was a key subject in Kenneth Ring's groundbreaking book on the Near-Death Experience, Heading Toward Omega. He writes about her again in his latest book Lessons From the Light.

    Barbara has been a guest on major television talk shows, including Larry King Live, The Today Show, Man Alive, Donahue, Unsolved Mysteries, PM Magazine, Good Morning America, Oprah, Joan Rivers, Sonya Freeman, and CNN Medical News. Her story and her research have appeared in documentaries in the US, Canada, Japan, France, Belgium and Italy and in magazines such as Redbook, McCalls, Woman's World, McClean's, Utne Reader, Common Boundary, Psychology Today and many others. She presented talks on the Near-Death Experience to a group in the Capital in Washington, D.C. and also the United Nations in New York.

    Barbara lives in Atlanta, Georgia with her husband, author and physician Charles Whitfield, MD. They share a private practice, helping adults that were repeatedly abused and traumatized as children.
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Visit my website at www.barbarawhitfield.com

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Last Modified: 01/20/2009

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